Multiple personality disorder is very important to survive in Lagos. To be able to switch from Eloquent to Agbero is a very vital trait. I’ve used this trick a lot and although risky, it really has gotten me outta tight corners
One time I was out and about looking all fresh with my white and blue combo of laiv 😎 I came face to face with real life agberos. Here’s the deal, I was enroute Ikeja from Agege.
Because I was looking all fresh with a touch of white I dint want to stain I opted to take bike through the infamous Pen cinema overhead bridge construction site. It was mid day on a Saturday so I dint expect any problems 🤔
I was almost at the end of my trip when we met some little traffic. Some guys came running in through the junction, screaming task force at the top of their baritone voices. The bike man begged me that he dint want them to catch him so I should alight.
Since I was just going outside the street to a trekkable distance I decided it was reasonable to let the man go. Immediately I paid him and he zoomed off, some guys obviously tout looking approached. I was trying to form calm although I had heard of their numerous exploits 😥
One of them blocked me from the front, the other from the side immediately, I knew I was about to drop something. Their spokes man came to my ear with all the stench of the morning alcohol and weed he had consumed overwhelming my fresh breath 😖😒. “Omo Iya mi munkanle fawa”
“Eyan wa kan ni olopa mu, akan wa change die tamafi bail e ni”
MEANING “My mother’s child, drop something for us” “One of us was arrested so we’re gathering money to bail him”
I looked at them like me I’m not your mother’s child o. I know my mother she dint birth touts 🙄
Without saying anything I gave them something I could afford to lose and tried moving away then the man in front stopped me that it was not enough, that was when the hood in me forced its way out 👿
“Swa anaye, kini kinwa sey siyen?”
“Ajo wa ni lungu yi ni o malo wa o” 😠
“Come, what should I do about that?”
“We’re in this hood together o, don’t try shi oo”
They looked at me and started smiling
Raising 2 hands 🙌 “Oya omo aye, igba tiwo na lonjo butter, file fun, washere”
“Shaid of the world, its cos you’re looking all butter, wehdone sir”
As I walked away I looked down, I could see my heart beat through my top 😪 it was literally a beat! I’ve not passed that place since! The trauma was for days 😥
Seriously speaking, what’s the way out of all these? Till when would people keep walking with fear? Any other time, my supposed OT might not have worked, they’ll have beaten me blue, black. It scares me still.